So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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