So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
