Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
