Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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