I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
