I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
