You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
