Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
