Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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