I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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