So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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