I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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