i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He has the fingertips of a God
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize