after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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