Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
