Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
