So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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