I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
