I want to walk on stilts...naked
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
