don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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