I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
