Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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