Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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