Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
