I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
