Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
