I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
