why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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