youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
