She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
