Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
