Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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