I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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