Apparently you make a good broom.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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