I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
