The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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