To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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