No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
