I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
