Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
