She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
