Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
