it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
