i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
