I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
