i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
