I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I see more hoeing in ur future
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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