He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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