Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
