i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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