I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
