I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
