Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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