Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
