Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
