from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
