Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
