i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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